I am in a season of being challenged to change nearly every aspect of my life right now. Everything from my view of and relationship with God, to parenting, to marriage, to cleaning & organizing, to controlling my thoughts and emotions, to eating, to exercising (insert half-serious chuckle here), to Imago Dei, to pretty much anything else I look at and see the need for change.
I must say, I asked for it. I literally asked God to show me, in perfect clarity, areas in my life that needed to be changed and give me the willingness, energy and ability to change them to align more properly with His vision and version of me. And sure enough, He did. I am not the servant, wife, mother, leader I want to be. So I am existing in a time where I have more questions than answers, and everything I once knew to be true is being challenged. It's a confusing but strangely exciting place to be. I am resting in a season of unrest. I am ready for God to transform me.
I wish I could focus all of my attention on everything at once. The previous, un-enlightened version of myself would have tried. Then given up. Then felt like a failure. Instead, I will only choose to tackle one thing at a time. This means focusing my time on researching ways to improve my current area of focus, praying specifically about it, fasting from or completely eliminating things that prohibit me from making progress (can someone say facebooking all day or watching needless tv?!), and trying to document my thoughts and progress along the way. I am sure I will still make small strides towards improving the other areas I also need to change. Fully neglecting these other areas would almost surely negate the intent of my original quest. But it's time for me to pick my first desired destination and start putting one foot in front of the other so I can get there. Lord, be with me!
