Where do I begin? My life looks completely different since the last time I bothered to write anything. These posts are really just for me anyway but I do wish I took more time to get these thoughts out. Right now we are living in Gilbert, AZ, a place where if you had asked me a year ago if I'd be living here I'd absolutely say no. Dave brought the possibility to my attention last October. I firmly believe that at the moment of that conversation the holy spirit instructed me not to negate this idea. So I listened as patiently as possible and even said if all the right things were in place I might consider it. And here we are. The way that God brought our family out here was undeniable to us and everyone around us. I actually have a 2+ page list in a notebook of all the ways God was moving in this situation. The list of cons I also wrote is only half a page long and most of those things have been resolved with time. I didn't even have to take this journey West alone. God also moved very powerfully in Matt & Amy's life and brought them out here. She landed in Phoenix just 4 days after the kids and I arrived. Just being near Amy is a complete answer to the last few years of prayers to bring us back together. It's still unclear if, when or how my parents will make it out here but I know God is working in their lives very powerfully too. And I'm looking forward to having my kids' grandparents around again, their 2 favorite people.
God did decide to bring another family member out here with us... a new little baking baby. It was actually comical to me really that in the midst of all the movement in our lives and the years of infertility we endured, that right now, this was the time He decided to send another child our way. The several months before this happened, we had thought we were ready to start trying again, not seriously mind you. When nothing ever came of it month after month, I figured the infertility issues were back and we had discussions about our limits of forcing another pregnancy. When talks of this move became serious, we stopped even the thought of getting pregnant with great conviction that now was definitely not the time. I picture God giggling and shaking His head at us like only a loving, patient father could do as He proved to us once again that who becomes a part of our family is 1bazillion percent in His control.
The amount of faithfulness that God has showed this family over these years knocks me back. I actually get mad at myself for so often forgetting all that He has done for us and all the ways he has never failed to lead us, part the seas in our way, provide for us and constantly showing us that His plans for us far, far exceed anything that we had in mind. So now, when I find myself questioning what our future holds, where we will be, when/if/how God will choose to add to our family, I am forced to rest in the peace that He already has it all planned out. Actually, I'm really happy with that answer right now. This move has moved more than just my physical body. It has changed the way I view change in my life. I have been stretched and grown. Really, I've been forced to believe the truth that He has a plan for my life and it is always better than what I had planned for myself. I'm riding this wave, something I'm not normally good at, and it feels so... free.
